Betraying Gestures #31
if you need, if you need me to be with you
Dear readers,
This week's edition of Betraying Gestures is a Gilmore Girls review.
V. & V. both are great fans of Gilmore Girls.
The V. that signs these newsletters, and also V., my mother.
At some point, I realized V. imagined our relationship like that of Lorelai & Rory. To quote Rory: "freakishly linked".
episodeninja.com claims season 02 is the best reviewed, so I scroll the drop down menu and pick Like mother, like daughter: season 2, episode 7.
This title is the whole series in a nutshell, right?
We open with L. & R. chattering at Luke's cafe, this guy L. has been into since forever and I don't remember whether they end the 7-season run together. He's portraied as a working-class type dude so L. can rebel against the aristocratic forces in her upbriging. Oh yeah, L.& R. have old money pedigree; Grandma E., L.'s mother, is filthy rich and written to be extremely unlikeable --- and why does it feel like I am craving a marxist review of Gilmore Girls?
I don't have the capacity to write that, though, and after the opening credits we start the episode's storyline proper: R.'s school counselor calls out her "loner ways" and warns that if nothing changes this will impact her odds at joining a high-ranking college (R. attending Harvard is a major arch of the series). L. huffs and puffs at the headmaster, but her rebuttal fails when she, too, gets called out on her antisocial ways.
Oh crap,
Of course the episode I chose hits a nerve, almost immediately.
Witnessing the idealized version of our relationship V. could never have already adds its own special bittersweet tinge to it, but then "loner" is a descriptor fitting of our respective high-school experiences. In that we are in kind with the, yes, Gilmore Girls. I wonder if V. maybe didn't feel even more identified with R. rather than L.: intentionally quiet and introverted, a dedicated reader, not much bothered with socialization and happy on their own headspace.
L.'s protest and the headmaster response continues to dig into some deep shit:
"I raised R. to do whatever she wants, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone."
"It's hurting her."
That's --- that's D. right there.
By the end of the episode they will twist this point into an "I told you so" kind of deal, the main character is always right; but here in real life I've had beef with my mother for this exact reason. Yeah, I was raised to do whatever I wanted. And for the most part still do. L. is lucky R. decided she wanted to go to Harvard and have a boyfriend, I mostly decided to play Pokémon for 15 years straight, and now 16 years later still feel like I'm catching up with the real world, real emotions, real people. Did you know we all have bodies I found that out in 2014, ain't this shit crazy?
I get it, I get it. You're providing your daughter with the freedom you could never have, with the ubounded support and acceptance your own mother couldn't make available. L. & Grandma E. have a tense relationship (for reasons that go beyond class struggle) and so do V. and T. But I will twist the knife to show you the reflection in the blade: hasn't the happy headspace loner vibe hurt you too, mom?
L. takes a step back and the duo decide to play along the social game. L. joins a fundraiser group and gets roped up into organizing a fashion show at her inn, while R. stumbles her way into a secret sorority. All of the supporting characters are written as the worst, foil for L. and R.'s dynamic wit, intelligence, and smartassness, justifying their instinct of staying as far from the social sphere of the elite as possible (is there a connection between being the worst and old money? as someone who was also schooled in a private institution, my marx-sense is aroused)(poor marx out there is getting his name thrown in vain).
Despite initial resistance, though, everyone gets along and the stories develop with a dynamic of acceptance and inclusion toward L. & R. On L.'s side of the episode, she enjoys a rare bonding moment with Grandma E. who, surprised at her daughter finally investing her energy into a share of her own world, softens her overt criticisms. The title crystalizes when they model a matching "mother/daughter" vintage bright red suit set. Meanwhile, R. manages to join the most powerful clique of the school and kindly strings them along to include her frenemy P., a character who I assume had a prominent role over the series. But I forgot her.
What's funny about this episode is there are no betraying gestures. Characters are starightforward in their opinions, feelings and actions; L. & R. creatively circunvent the barrier they're met with and whenever R. faces a moral dilemma she articulates it to those around her in clear and delightfully witty terms. There are plenty of gestures, but not much betraying: P. hanging around to indicate she wants a seat at the table of very important exclusive girls, for example, is a plain A to B connection of intention toward desire; L. cracking a smile while reluctantly playing runway with her mother doesn't reveal anything the audience couldn't pick up on, and when one of the supporting characters decides she thinks Luke is hot she blurts it out loud immediately. In a follow up scene, L. believes to witness a betraying gesture when she sees Luke entertaining that same woman, but we learn he was simply giving her directions. No betrayals, only earnestness.
So, what is a betraying gesture?
I came up with a working definition of the concept for my own sake, after engaging with it for so long: it is a gesture that reveals that something has still not been revealed. It points to a presence that wasn't noticed before, but is unable to disclose it. The gesture, then, should be the betrayal in itself: you were supposed to come bare, but didn't; you promised honesty but could only find its limit.
The story heads toward a conclusion when L. warns R. that her new peer-group is about to kidnap her overnight (they kindly asked for permission)(maybe this could be a betraying gesture, but it's not a very good one). She gets taken to the school to complete some kind of initiation ritual, attempts to object but plays along anyway, until they are all busted by the headmaster. Oh, the injury and insult and illegality of entering the school to ring an old tiny bell on the headmaster's office desk. R. protests she was only doing it because he mandated her to aoxialize in the first place, parents get called, L. makes fun of the whole thing, the main characters are always right, remember? And to tie it off one of the other initiatees joins R. for school lunch the next day, both of them silently and happily flickering through their books and internal worlds.
G.G. is a warming, comforting experience. Through the 90's and 00's I feel television was something we lived with rather than watched. D. and V., grandma T., and then T., S. and K. --- TV was always on, while we ate and talked about the day, while I made homework, played games or even read. We were not ones for much social bonding, but people like Lorelai and Rory, Fraser Crane, Jerry Seinfeld, George Constanza, Captains Janeway and Cisco, Joey, Ross, Chandler, Dr. Ross, John Carter, Abby Lockhart, Detective Stabler, Olivia Benson, Mr. Monk and myriad others were visiting day in and day out. That was the most "social" and most "world" we got.
Watching them banter and navigate a web of zesty in-jokes, sharp one-liners, prickly insights about each other with such ease is mesmerizing, and I'm tempted to have G.G. as a backburner when I need to tune out. But.
In hindsight, wouldn't most of our beloved characters turn out to be kind of assholes were they to materialize this side of the screen? L.'s bravado againt the private school may appease my desire for sticking it to the owners of the means of production, but she is so convinced of the nastiness of these people that it comes as a genuine surprise when they welcome and admire her. Among all of the lofty New York apartments, hot doctors saving lives and righteous contempt dripping in sarcasm, intense non-verbal communication cut off by a perfectly timed joke, Star Trek of all things starts to feel like a more realistic standard for picking up social skills.
I can see, however, how a world with less betraying gestures could be a better world.
This review doesn't conclude one way or another; but I enjoyed rumagging through an important, if small, part of my relation with V. & V. I give it three stars out of five, even if my crítica social foda doesn’t quite match the score. One of the stars is a deep dark blue and the other two have six points each.
Thanks for reading along!
Can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm recommending Apple TV's Ted Lasso today. From my recent watches it stands out as the one where people are genuinely pleasant towards each other. It can't be helped that we will often find role models within media, so when I start to question whether it’s really cool to be fascinated and entertained by these horribly human, corrupt characters (and feeling like one of them myself), I can recall coach Lasso's heartfelt approach to enthusiasm and vulnerability.
Oh, but maybe a more useful recommendation is Reddit’s Piracy Megathread for all of your media needs. If one source is down just go look for another. It covers everything including books, movies, games, you name it.
You wouldn't download a car.
Fuck yeah I would, if I could.